Muses from a word nerd

I am a words guy.

I don’t know if high school English teachers still teach students how to diagram sentences, but if they do, I would love to volunteer as an assistant. Maybe in retirement.

And yes, as I have previously written, I should probably get out more.

When I was in college, I had a manual typewriter. If you are too young to know what that is, I would encourage you to look it up in one of my favorite books, the dictionary. (You can even do it online at dictionary.com.)

I typed papers for other students, charging something like 50 cents per page. But when you got me as a typist, you also got me as a proofreader.

Not only did I type the papers; I often rewrote them. Some of my peers, especially those who took only the minimum required English classes, were not the sticklers I was. So, I tried to help them get a better grade.

I’ll only lightly touch on grammar today, but as I watched a college football game over the weekend, I was horrified to hear one of the game callers start a sentence with, “Me and Bill . . .” as he referenced himself and his sidekick in the press box. (Bill is a made-up name, so don’t waste your time trying to figure out the identities of the individuals on this broadcast team.)

As if that was not bad enough, imagine my state of mind when the sideline reporter in the same game, while sharing a personal story about one of the players, said, “Him and his family would watch games together when he was growing up.”

I have relaxed a little about ending sentences with prepositions. I no longer flinch (much) when someone talks about where someone or something is “at.”

But I refuse to budge on the correct use of pronouns. We simply must do better, especially those who write and/or speak words for a living.

The latest buzz

Workplace buzz words both amuse and annoy me. Each time I am asked to “reach out,” take a “deep dive" or “level set,” my eyes roll. I have learned to virtually roll them because I do not want to be rude.

Years ago, when I managed a team of ten people, I gave them a list of 20 buzz words and had them guess the five for which I had the most disdain.

My ulterior motive was to encourage them to be more concise and simplistic in their business communication. Say, “please call” rather than “reach out to me.” Say, “I will talk to you later” rather than “I will circle back.”

You get the idea.

Alas, I had limited success. While folks were entertained by the exercise, it was barely completed before they were sending emails to me in which they were thanking me in advance (which is impossible; a thank-you is present tense and cannot apply to a future event); explaining how something is what it is; or telling me they simply did not have the bandwidth to perform a certain task.

After that, although I might have, on occasion, good-naturedly pointed out the use of tired words and phrases, I eventually gave up trying to change these habits. They were good people, and it was unfair to expect them to get hung up on the same things over which I might go berserk.

While I am on the subject, my latest favorites are “net new” and “readout.”

I looked it up, and “net new” is an accounting term. But it is being used any time a previously un-introduced concept or idea is being addressed.

“Oh, this is net new,” a co-worker has said to me more than once, explaining how we are covering a topic we have not previously discussed.

I sent an instant message to a colleague a few weeks ago, when this term had been used a half-dozen times (yes, I counted) in a meeting in which we were both participants, saying, “you realize it is not necessary to use the word ‘net’ before ‘new’ don’t you?” (He was not the one saying it, by the way. I am not that crass.)

He replied with a laughing emoji, but I know he did not fully appreciate the point I was making. And I am pretty sure I heard him use it himself a few days later.

As for “readout,” according to dictionary.com, it is defined as “the output of information from a computer in readable form.”

In my experience, this is not how this word is being used. I have been invited to meetings where we will supposedly hear a readout about a new project or initiative. (It might have concerned something that was net new.)

I assure you, in none of these meetings have there been outputs of information from a computer in readable form.

Words evolution

I am fascinated by the way words evolve over time.

For example, I don’t believe I had ever heard the word “venue” until I went to law school. A trial lawyer seeks a change of venue when it is beneficial for his or her client to have the case heard somewhere other than the court to which it has been assigned.

Today, we use the word venue when we are talking about a place to hold an event. As soon as a couple becomes engaged, you are likely to hear one or the other of them talking about how they are looking for a venue for their wedding.

Also, for years in the South, we had breakfast, lunch and supper. We might have referred to Sunday dinner (which occurred mid-day after church, substituting for lunch) or might have gone out to dinner to celebrate something, but the weeknight evening meal at home was supper.

Although I might occasionally still hear the word supper, it seems to have mostly given way to dinner.

Finally, I have observed, in some cases, nouns have become verbs. The most common, of course, is “Google,” inasmuch as when we use perhaps the world’s most popular search engine, we Google something.

Another that has gained traction is the word “gift.” Whereas we once would give someone a gift, we now are just as likely to “gift” someone with a special item or token of our appreciation.

I don’t take offense at these, but it might not surprise you to learn I will search for something online rather than Google it, and I still prefer to give rather than to gift.

But that’s me.

If you will use correct pronouns, you are welcome to Google and gift all you want.